


Whose Daughter?

by ibided



Series: The Cat Formerly Known As Prince [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Darcy gets it, Existential Angst, Gen, Loki Has Issues, non-graphic mentions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 22:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1364788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibided/pseuds/ibided
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Darcy have a little chat about nature vs nurture. Or something...</p><p>Set a few weeks after A Generous Application Of Hugs And Kisses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whose Daughter?

**Author's Note:**

> I realise that this is on the not-so light-hearted side of things, but I've got a few of these kinds of episodes to post before I can start having a bit more fun with these two characters.

Loki settled himself at the opposite end of the couch from Darcy and opened his book. The distance between them was clearly not great enough, as Darcy attempted to surreptitiously rest her feet on his lap. For a thoroughly pleasing moment Loki entertained the thought of crushing the offending appendages, or perhaps breaking them clean off… Reminding himself that he could make better use of the infuriating woman if she were alive, he snapped the book closed and vanished it.

“ _What_ is wrong with you?” he snarled. The human woman looked caught between shock and concern.

“If you want me to move my feet there are polite ways of asking,” she said. Loki growled at her. “If you have something to say, just say it,” Darcy added.

“You are not a stupid woman,” Loki began.

“Thank you,” Darcy interrupted with no small amount of sarcasm.

“You know who I am,” Loki continued. “Yet you continue to treat me as no more than one of your mortal companions.”

“If you think I’m gonna start addressing you as ‘Your Highness’ or something, then I’ve got some bad news for you, buddy.”

Loki stood and began pacing the length of the living room. “That’s not what I meant. You do not fear me. I brought an army to your world – to this city – and yet you are unconcerned to share your apartment with me. Why?”

Darcy considered for a moment before answering. “I prefer to judge people based on my own experience of them. Obviously I know about your invasion attempt, but I wasn’t here in New York at the time, nor did I have friends or family here to worry about. Maybe it sounds cold, but it didn’t affect me personally and SHIELD did a pretty good job of confiscating any footage of you or the Chitauri so…” she shrugged. “Human psychology is weird.”

“And were you not in the desert with Jane Foster and Thor?”

“Yeah, but all I saw was a giant fire breathing robot. You’ve never hurt me personally, you’ve never threatened me, you’ve had nine months’ worth of opportunity to kill me or whatever and you haven’t. I don’t necessarily trust you, but like I said before, I believe in second chances.”

When Loki didn’t reply, Darcy continued. “Look, what is this really about? Is there some reason I should be afraid of you?”

“I am a monster.” Loki stopped pacing to glare at the human. If only she could fear him the way she was meant to, his life would be so much simpler. Fear was easy. Fear was familiar.

“Why?” Darcy asked. “Because of what you did?”

Loki clenched his hands into fists. “Because of what I am. I am Jotun. A frost-giant.”

“So?”

“It seems I was wrong. You are stupid after all.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Do you know who my father is? I mean, James Lewis – the guy who adopted me.”

“Why would I?” Loki scoffed.

Darcy shrugged. “He’s kind of well-known in the state of Virginia. Before I was born he was a detective in the Richmond Police Department and became kind of a local hero when he put away the worst serial killers the state had ever seen. Joe and Lila Evans. _They_ were monsters. They were a husband and wife team known as the Richmond Rippers. Totally misleading name though, since they…well, I won’t go into detail.

“Anyway, I grew up hearing the stories – about how my dad finally caught the Evans’, how they deserved the death penalty, and sometimes about how it was good that they didn’t get the death penalty because they deserved to suffer. People would say ‘Oh you’re Jim Lewis’s daughter. Your father is a great man. Don’t you want to be just like him?’ And I did. I was proud to be his daughter.” Darcy sighed, “I was sixteen when I happened to find my adoption papers. Imagine my surprise. Imagine my horror as well, to find out that I was biologically the daughter of the Richmond Rippers. I suspect you can relate.”

“You were a child,” Loki dismissed. “I was over a thousand years old when I found out who I really am.”

“God! Do you think you have the patent on inner turmoil? Stop being a jerk and try listening to what I am saying. Besides, in proportion to our respective life expectancies we were roughly the same age. But that’s not the point.”

The woman was infuriating. Did she really think she could understand his pain? Loki sat back on the couch and smiled his condescension. “Then what is the point?”

“I didn’t know who I was anymore. I’d spent sixteen years building an identity based on a lie, and then that was ripped away from me. I thought I was the daughter of two upstanding citizens and then I found out that I was the daughter of two murderers. I know what it feels like to be taught all your life that certain people are ‘good’ and certain people are ‘evil’,” Darcy said, using finger quotation marks, “and then to discover that you come from the ‘evil’ people. ”

“It is hardly the same situation,” Loki sneered. “Your closest blood relatives committed crimes, whereas my entire species is monstrous.”

“ _It_ is the same thing. It doesn’t matter who your parents are or what species you are; it’s not a person’s nature that makes them monstrous or…I dunno… _not_ monstrous. It’s their _actions_. My biological parents _chose_ to do those horrible things. I don’t have to make those same choices. I’m my own person, I have my own identity – I don’t have to be defined by who gave me birth or who raised me. I call Jim Lewis ‘Dad’ and Rhonda Lewis ‘Mom’ and Nikki Lewis ‘sister’ because I want to. It’s the same for you.”

Loki shook his head. “You are unbelievably naïve if you think that I can escape centuries – millennia – of hostility between Aesir and Jotun. Those who know I am a frost-giant will always see me as such. My heritage ensured that I was never good enough for Odin and never good enough for the throne.” He hated the words as soon as they had left his mouth, needy and pathetic as they were.

“You don’t have to be good enough for Odin.” Darcy’s tone was reassuring and Loki hated that, too. “You’re the one who has to live with you for the rest of your life, so just be good enough for yourself. You just have to figure out who you are apart from your parents, apart from Thor, apart from the frost-giants and apart from the expectations that people have of you.”

One hundred things that Loki wanted to say or do ran through his mind. He wanted to curse this foolish human who thought she knew what he needed, who _presumed_ to know better than he – a god! He wanted to crush her for suggesting that he needed to figure out who he was. He wanted to demand that she tell him how; ask why she cared and then mock her for it; tear her down with poisonous words and make her hate herself. Most of all he wanted to destroy her world because she was right.

He thought of Frigga, who had never loved her second son any less than the first; who had seen his weakness and given him a way to be strong; who had fought for him despite his actions to conquer Midgard. _Always so perceptive of everyone but yourself,_ she had said. Frigga had wanted him to understand himself.

“What did you do?” Loki asked instead. “When you found out who you really are, what did you do?”

“I was furious. I yelled at them, both of them. Then I demanded that they tell me the truth and after they did I yelled at them some more. After that, I barely talked to them for weeks. I’d always been a fairly good student, but I started cutting class and not going to school at all. My grades took a massive plunge. I started going out at night, to parties and stuff, trying drugs and getting drunk off my face. I wanted to hurt my parents – let them down like they had let me down. Mostly I only hurt myself.”

“But you forgave them eventually.”

“Yep,” Darcy nodded. “It took a couple months but… I went to a party one night and got pretty drunk, and I ended up sleeping with some guy. I didn’t even know his name. The next day I felt dirty and cheap – I wanted my first time to mean something. Hell, I wanted every time to mean something. Still do. I know some people are happy to have sex without emotions or trust but I’m not.

“Anyway, that day I didn’t really leave my room and I did a _lot_ of thinking. I realised that my mom and dad loved me. They made a decision not to tell me that I was adopted and I disagreed with that decision. But if I were in their position, who’s to say I wouldn’t have done the same thing? I came to the conclusion that all anyone can ever do is try to make the best decision they can with the information they have. How can anyone expect more than that? The pain didn’t immediately disappear, nor the confusion. And on both sides there was a lot of trust to be rebuilt but we’re pretty good these days.”

“I don’t think I could ever forgive Odin,” Loki said with a harsh laugh.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Darcy shrugged. “But at least you seem to be more or less past the self-destructive phase.”

“’Self-destructive phase’?”

“Yeah. You know, trying to take over a planet and getting your ass handed to you by the Avengers. And I’m pretty sure Thor mentioned something about trying to destroy all Jotuns. That sounds pretty self-destructive to me.”

Loki scowled like a petulant child. “Thor was the one to start a war with Jotunheim; I was finishing it and protecting Asgard. As for taking your planet, Odin always told me that I was destined to be a king. I was merely taking what ought to have been mine.”

“So you make bad decisions in order to show your parents their own mistakes in parenting. But in the end you’re the one who has to live with the consequences.”

The mortal was entirely too accepting. “Just because I failed does not mean it was a bad decision.”

Darcy scoffed. “Right. And if you had won – if you were king of the world right now, would you be happy? Would you be satisfied?”

“Satisfaction’s not in my nature.”

“Satisfaction’s not in anyone’s nature, genius. It’s something you choose.” Darcy swung her legs off the couch. “I’m making tea. Want some?”

**Author's Note:**

> Is Darcy right? What do you reckon?


End file.
